my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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