Will you blow on my dice?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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