things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
