Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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