You smell like stripper and shame
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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