..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
