I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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