I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
