also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
