My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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