You really coming over, don't trick.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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