No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
