I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
