we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
