Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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