i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
