You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
