So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
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All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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