Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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