Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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