once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
