Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
