My first STD was from a foam party
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
