i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
