I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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