Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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