We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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