My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
