One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
