well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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