The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
