Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
