Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
