you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
