I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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