I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
operation harelip BJ is a go
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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