Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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