Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.