it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Randomize
