last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
