things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
