Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Randomize
