Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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