Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
