grandma shit on top of the toilet
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
