My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
