dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
