I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
