she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
