i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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