Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
