Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
