u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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