Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
