just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
