she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
