After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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