I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
