dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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