Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
