I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
