it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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