i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
