Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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