I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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