It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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