no, he came in my armpit
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
