theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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